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Couple with identity disorders who have over 400 personalities between them reveal they sometimes go a day without eating - because their child 'alter-egos' don't know how to COOK (11 Pics)

The weekly shop can be a difficult task at the best of times for a couple , who might bicker over what they’re going to have for tea.
But for Kai, 27, and Franz, 26, a simple shop is almost impossible because there are dozens of other people getting involved with the decision making.
They have both been diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder , formally known as multiple personality disorder, and between them have over 400 personas, called ‘alters'.
There is no telling when alters will appear and they can be male, female, young or old and have accents from all over the world, each with their own back story.
In 5Star documentary My Multiple Personalities & Me, we meet Franz and Kai’s alters Blake and Grey, who are out shopping.
“It feels like we are shopping for 1,000 people,” Franz’s alter Grey, 26, says. “Imagine every time you went shopping, you’ve got an entourage of people saying ‘no, yes, no yes’.”
“We have a list, but it’s not happening. We’ve got so many people who want everything. There is only so much we can get,” Kai’s alter Blake, 20, says.
“Even though we have a list, this should be the plan but it’s just not. It’s difficult, we’ve got so many people who want this, this, there’s only so many meals we can do.”
During their shopping trip multiple alters, some of whom are children, begin to emerge demanding various items, from cherryade to chocolate mousse.
One of Kai's alters, Shade, 7, has emerged during the shopping trip 

“Someone wants cherryade. Zack wants pot noodle. Xander is that close and is wanting to go back down that aisle and get unhealthy things,” Grey says.
The child alters, referred to as Littles, trigger Franz’s alter Damien to come out, who is 'the dad' of the system.
“I’m Damo, I’m 27. I’m out because this little one is out and dad mode kicked in,” Damien says.
By the end of the shop, Franz and Kai have already switched alters a number of times. It is an exhausting way to live.

The couple, who both live in Cardiff, met online in 2011 in a forum for people who have DID and are now in a romantic relationship, which can get quite complicated with all the other alters to consider.
Franz explains: “We have a thing where we say our bodies are together - bodies are monogamous. Each of the alters have their own separate relationships, not just romantic.
“Some are dad figures, there are child-parent relationships, but there are romantic relationships between alters too, there are friend relationships.
“Each alter can choose to have whatever relationship they like.”

Some of Franz's alters

Zack, 14
Cheerful and chatty, especially when it comes to things he loves, always trying to make sure everyone is happy and safe. Zack is very excitable and always wanting to learn and try new things, and often gets absorbed into reading, drawing and researching things when he's out. His main passion is marine archeology.
Damien, 28
One of the social butterflies of the system, loud and chatty. System dad and caretaker. Always happy to be with friends and loved ones. He loves music and food, especially cooking. He is dad to Xander.
Lola, 18
Feisty, flirty fun loving party girl. She is very confident and has no issues expressing it. She is super sociable and loves being around people, and is never usually on her own inside. She is extremely defensive of our system and her loved ones, and once you get on her bad side, it's very difficult to get her trust again.
Xander, 6
Xander is a bundle of wild energy, usually around. He is loud, boisterous and a handful, but ultimately very sweet. When he's out, he spends his time running around, colouring in, singing and dancing and playing various air instruments. He says when he's older, he wants to be a rockstar, just like this dad (Damien).
Ben, 4
Skittish and scared of most people, Ben flip flops between being terrified of everyone and clinging to them scared of them leaving. He's usually carrying around a teddy called Bear Bear in our inner world, and if Bear Bear is lost he gets very upset. He likes colouring in and watching movies, his favourite is Brave.

DID is often misunderstood and many people wrongly label people with the disorder as schizoprehnic.
Kai says: “There’s been quite a few people who don’t understand it or don’t even think it is real. People say it’s fake and that’s up to them.
“But it would be a lot of effort to put myself through if it was fake. I would’ve had to be faking this for a really long time.
“I think because DID has been labelled as bi-polar or schizophrenia for such a long time, that’s what I thought I had.
“And then I met someone who has DID and I was like, ‘that sounds more like what I have’. I started looking into it and sought help for that and it turned out that I did have it. It was strange.
Choosing ice-cream flavours is also stressful 
“I definitely felt relieved after I was diagnosed. It was nice knowing other people have it.”
He adds: “I don’t come out that often, it’s usually other alters that run my life for me and they seem to do a better job than me a lot of the time.
“Having the comfort of someone else understanding what I am going through and why, and not being upset when I am not around, it makes me feel safer and happier.”
One of the things the couple would love to do is work, but at the moment they can’t.
“We can’t hold down a job,” Kai says. “We want to work, we would love to work. We tried to do a trial shift last year as a waiter. You’ve got to remember orders, what is going where, what dish is what. It was one of the worst jobs we could’ve chosen to apply for.”
Other everyday tasks like trying to cook are sometimes impossible for the couple, because some of their alters don’t have the skills.
In the documentary, we meet 18-year-old Quinn, an alter of Franz, and 13-year-old Alfie, an alter of Kai's. Neither of these alters can cook.
Alfie says: “We’re both trying to find someone that can come out to cook something. But it’s going really badly.”
Eventually, Franz’s alter Damien emerges and cooks them a meal. Sometimes the couple have gone a whole day without eating because the wrong alters are present.

Some of Kai's alters

Sam, 31
He's a bit of a dad and likes to keep things organised. He's a bookworm and reads as often as he can, he mostly likes dark fantasy books and his favourite series right now is Red Queen (Victoria Aveyard). He likes to keep us as active as we're able to be.
Elliot, 26 to 4 (depending on the situation)
He's a caretaker and always looks after others when they're struggling. If we're tired or unwell then he's usually 12 or younger. He loves Doctor Who and history. He's also a hipster and loves indie coffee shops.
Aimee, 20
She used to make us feel bad and replay bad memories, but she's changed now and protects everyone by paying attention to people's intentions towards us. She's very involved in witchcraft and likes things like animal skulls and crystals.
Theo, 18
He's very social, loves making friends with people he connects with. He loves the ocean (sharks especially), thinks lightning storms are amazing and he's very into screamo/emo/scene music.
Fyn, 17
He's very happy and creative, he's quiet but he loves all people. He sees the good in everything and sees magic in everyday things, he thinks there's something good in all places even if you can't see it right away.
Fiona - 17 (sometimes 7)
She's usually 17 and when she is she's very happy and loves everyone. She's vegan and doesn't come out often because it's hard to cater for everyone's needs sometimes. She thinks cows, pigs and ducklings are the cutest animals in the world. She's only 7 when she gets triggered by trauma reminders.

Why do people develop dissociative identity disorder?

DID is often stemmed from a traumatic event in childhood and for both Kai and Franz, they experienced trauma from a very young age.
Kai says: “There was trauma in my life pretty much since I was born and it’s carried on until I got with Franz actually.”
It is a similar story for Franz, who explains: “DID is caused by bad things happening in childhood that I need to process in order to live a functional, healthy life. That’s what my therapy is, learning to cope with things from my past and learning to remember the things without being horrifically re-traumatised.
“I was under the age of four and it continued until I was older. But I can’t remember much from back then.”
In the documentary, we meet 18-year-old Quinn, an alter of Franz, and 13-year-old Alfie, an alter of Kai's. Neither of these alters can cook.
Alfie says: “We’re both trying to find someone that can come out to cook something. But it’s going really badly.”
Eventually, Franz’s alter Damien emerges and cooks them a meal. Sometimes the couple have gone a whole day without eating because the wrong alters are present.

Some of Kai's alters

Sam, 31
He's a bit of a dad and likes to keep things organised. He's a bookworm and reads as often as he can, he mostly likes dark fantasy books and his favourite series right now is Red Queen (Victoria Aveyard). He likes to keep us as active as we're able to be.
Elliot, 26 to 4 (depending on the situation)
He's a caretaker and always looks after others when they're struggling. If we're tired or unwell then he's usually 12 or younger. He loves Doctor Who and history. He's also a hipster and loves indie coffee shops.
Aimee, 20
She used to make us feel bad and replay bad memories, but she's changed now and protects everyone by paying attention to people's intentions towards us. She's very involved in witchcraft and likes things like animal skulls and crystals.
Theo, 18
He's very social, loves making friends with people he connects with. He loves the ocean (sharks especially), thinks lightning storms are amazing and he's very into screamo/emo/scene music.
Fyn, 17
He's very happy and creative, he's quiet but he loves all people. He sees the good in everything and sees magic in everyday things, he thinks there's something good in all places even if you can't see it right away.
Fiona - 17 (sometimes 7)
She's usually 17 and when she is she's very happy and loves everyone. She's vegan and doesn't come out often because it's hard to cater for everyone's needs sometimes. She thinks cows, pigs and ducklings are the cutest animals in the world. She's only 7 when she gets triggered by trauma reminders.

Why do people develop dissociative identity disorder?

DID is often stemmed from a traumatic event in childhood and for both Kai and Franz, they experienced trauma from a very young age.
Kai says: “There was trauma in my life pretty much since I was born and it’s carried on until I got with Franz actually.”
It is a similar story for Franz, who explains: “DID is caused by bad things happening in childhood that I need to process in order to live a functional, healthy life. That’s what my therapy is, learning to cope with things from my past and learning to remember the things without being horrifically re-traumatised.
“I was under the age of four and it continued until I was older. But I can’t remember much from back then.”
“I thought it was normal to be sort of drop-kicked out of being there. But I wasn’t able to talk about it.
“A lot of therapy now is trying to deal with the things that bring on the switches and some of the alters.”

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