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Dope: Lance Armstrong’s day made by blowing past Vice President Mike Pence on a bike path

We’re old enough to remember the LiveStrong days when cyclist Lance Armstrong was an American hero. But as they say, never meet your heroes, and never follow them on Twitter either. Is this supposed to be virtue signaling or a humblebrag?
"I won the Tour De France seven times, but now I'm flexing over beating a 60-year old whose never taken steroids."

239 people are talking about this
What a sad loser you've become.

Hey, remember when you insisted over and over that you never cheated?


See 🇺🇸 Brian de August's other Tweets
Sooo... the guy who cheated to win all his championships now thinks it's winning to ride a bike faster than a 60 year old who wasn't even trying to race him... got it.

3,106 people are talking about this
Some things are better left unsaid there cupcake. Cheating little man that you are...

See Vince's other Tweets
Do they make performance enhancing drugs for Twitter?

I'll go into my own pocket to cover the costs for you.

See Antonio Martinez's other Tweets
You obviously don't have much of a standard if such a feat gave you overwhelming joy. That would've been you in the tours had you not been juicing.

See Parker Mullins's other Tweets
Wow, a pro athlete whooped an elderly man in the sport of his choice!! Such a badass you are!! 🙄🙄

70 people are talking about this
"I blew by a 60 year old man on my bike and it made me feel good about myself" is a quick way to alienate the few fans you have left.

29 people are talking about this
We all know why you can't drop many people on a bike nowadays. Mike Pence is 60. Congrats.

See Matt's other Tweets
I imagine it is much harder for you to beat anyone now that you’re not doping and disrespecting your entire sport. Pence is better at riding motorcycles...or as most people would call them “real bikes.” @VP

916 people are talking about this
You can’t drop someone if you’re not racing them, and especially if the other guy doesn’t know it’s a race.

See OrbeaBradleyGuru's other Tweets

The image rehabilitation is coming along swimmingly. Besides, it was just a joke:
No, trust us, we had a lot of fun on Twitter … at your expense.


  1. Lance suffers from Full Spectrum Austinism. There is no cure.

  2. Lance, slither away and if you can't, take some courses on PR.

  3. Lance, you were going so fast that you failed to realize it was your reputation, not Mike Pence, that you blew the fuckin' doors off...

    In another life, try riding a bike not a lie...Losers try to win...Real losers hate winners...Go figure...

  4. The guy's a hero. He only did what everybody was doing, but got caught.